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People often describe me as a “calm” person. I don’t know if they don’t mean “boring”, but I’m happy to be calm most of the time. When others are stressed, I can help them calm down. When things are not going well, I calmly take the appropriate measures instead of getting carried away. When things go wrong, I can stay focused. I can feel the difficulty, find peace, and keep an unshakable connection to everything around me. I’m not saying this to brag, but in the hope that it will inspire others to try it too.
If you also want to be calm, stress less whatever happens in your life, I offer this article to help you.
For example, you sometimes have a million things to do and not enough time to finish everything? It’s not a big deal: choose the things you can do and get to work. That’s all you can do anyway, so it’s not worth adding stress to the already difficult situation.
- Do you have a huge task to do and it will be difficult? No problem ! Take the first step and start walking. You will manage the difficulty en route.
- What you had planned to collapse? No big problem. Find a new alternative.
- Is anyone dissatisfied with you? No problem. Take the necessary steps to help him fix the situation or continue with what you have to do if it cannot be changed.
The other way to look at it is to take everything seriously. The advantage of this way of seeing things is that instead of getting distracted or taking things lightly, we can devote all our attention and all our energy to it.
This does not mean that we have to be upset or stressed by the situation: although this is important, nothing is serious and deserves to be calm. Life goes on and that’s fine.
When things collapse, when things don’t go the way you want, in addition to remembering that it’s not a big problem… there are very simple practices you can try:
- Get in touch with the difficulty: We usually want to get out of difficulty, to end stress, pain, and to find peace. This usually results in greater difficulty with the same situation. Instead, we can come into contact with the feeling of stress, with the pain, fear, anger, or irritation that we feel. It means diving into the physical sensation of our body, which has nothing to do with panic. It’s just a feeling in the present moment, you can stay with it to feel it with courage. It is a transformative practice and I strongly recommend that you exercise as often as possible during the day.
- Be bigger than your thoughts: When we are stressed or frustrated it is because we are trapped in our own self-centered interpretation of the situation. We want what we want most, and we are unhappy when we don’t get it. If we can go beyond this limited point of view, suddenly we have space. Things don’t seem so closed and disastrous. We can see the big picture, see the views of others, see that it’s not just what we see and what we want. This higher view is usually what will bring calm. When you are disturbed, try to get out of yourself and see things from the point of view of others, which will make your life easier.
- Connect with peace at the center of your being: After performing the above two practices, there is a deeper one: find the place within yourself that is completely at peace. It is the center of the storm, where nothing gets carried away, where you are deeply connected to everything else. It may take a while to find, so practice again and again. Once you’ve found that unwavering connection, no matter what’s going on around you, it’s there and you can go back to it constantly.
You can do each of these exercises one at a time, or choose one and do it every day for a week or two. You will find calm. It will be an exquisite moment to live.